Small Plays About My Day

… tiny true dramas in a Charing Cross Road bookshop

You can learn something

Weighty man: Can I see that book in the window called Male Oral Love? Walter: Sure. (Gets out book.) Weighty man: I’m not a homosexual. Emily: No? Weighty man: It just looks fascinating. Walter: Yes. Weighty man: You can learn something from anything, can’t you? Emily: You can.

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Gay Sadist

Man in shorts: If you want to buy a book, this is the place to come. Wide blonde woman: I do want a book. Where’s H? Man in shorts: Bloody hell. In between G and I. Wide blonde woman: I want Georgette Heyer. Man in shorts: Well she’s here. Wide blonde woman: Got that one. Got [...]

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Jersey

Emily: Have you seen a hardback called ‘Old Jersey Houses’. Jan: Yes, it’s here. Emily: Wasn’t Jersey … what’s the word? Jan: Bergerac? Emily: Occupied.

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Boys In Jail

Muscular man with tattoos: Could I have a look at the book ‘Dens of Depravity, Boys In Jail’ that you’ve got in the window? Zoe: Sure. (Gets book out of window) Muscular man with tattoos: Thanks. (Flicks through book) Zoe: We’ve got quite a lot more of that kind of erotica downstairs, if you’re interested. [...]

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Stains

Emily: Find anything of interest? Shabby man in rumpled suit: (Handing over book) Yes, this. “How To Remove Stains”. Emily: Two pounds, please. Shabby man in rumpled suit: Thought it might come in useful. Emily: Yes.

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  • "In a town like London there are always plenty of not quite certifiable lunatics walking the streets, and they tend to gravitate towards bookshops, because a bookshop is one of the few places where you can hang about for a long time without spending any money."
    George Orwell

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