Small Plays About My Day

… tiny true dramas in a Charing Cross Road bookshop

Maps

Posted on | February 4, 2010 | No Comments

Doddery woman with white foundation and sun glasses: Now, I wonder if you can help.
Emily: I’ll try.
Doddery woman: I have three maps. One shows the theatres but not the roads. Another shows the roads but not the theatres. The last … well, I’ll show you.
(Unfolds large map)
Emily: I see.
Doddery woman: (From  behind map) You see? So what I want to know is, where is the Palace Theatre?
Emily: It’s just up there, on the left.
Doddery woman: All these people in the government and they produce four maps, all useless. Not one of them qualified.
Emily: No?
Doddery woman: Gordon Brown has a degree in history.
Emily: Does he?
Doddery woman: The private life of Henry VIII is hardly relevant to running the country.
Emily: I suppose not.
Doddery woman: There’s a financial crisis. The Norman Conquest does not help.
Emily: No, it wouldn’t.
Doddery woman: I see you smile. People smile. They think I make a joke. I don’t make a joke.

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  • "In a town like London there are always plenty of not quite certifiable lunatics walking the streets, and they tend to gravitate towards bookshops, because a bookshop is one of the few places where you can hang about for a long time without spending any money."
    George Orwell

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